I've been thinking alot about my game. I've had the pleasure to talk to Purple (former CR member who posted alot), Screenw (Winthrop), Alex (DWarrior), Brian (Btimm), Kevin (Moniker), Jason (LuckySOB) and Ian (Ladymuck) about poker. Purple and Brian help me review my big PT hand losers. I just never reviewed it on my own because it made me want to vomit when I lost a big pot playing very very bad.
After the PT review, I found a lot of bad leaks. I think I tilt too much without realizing it. When I tilt, I play very loose aggressive and call down a lot with dominated hands. Which is a bad combination because I lose the max on 2nd best hands and win the min with my big hands.
Sadly, I will admit that I did chase losses and played higher than I should back in early June. I played a session of $200 nlhe hu and $400 nlhe hu and lost 100bb stacks in one long session. So there goes $600 bucks right there. I got bad beated and cooler but it doesn't matter. I shouldn't have been moving up to chase my losses. It's so embarrassing writing this but I will make it publicly because I bet a lot of players do this. I rationalize it by saying, "I'm only doing this for fun. If I lose it's no big deal." In reality, I play to win money and it's a big deal. I've been playing poker since summer of 2005 and I've been eye balling $200 since Dec 2006. That was when I realistically had a shot at winning there with a 6.5k bankroll. I had the bankroll but my skills weren't good enough to win there. Over the next 100k hands over a 1 year and a half. I slowly bled money away and here I am today. Still playing $50 and $100 nlhe sh. I'm probably 2ptbb/100 over 200k hands because I ran very hot my first 100k hands (probably 6ptbb/100).
I just have to admit to myself that I just don't work hard enough. I'm fortunate to know alot of good players like Purple, Brian, Ian and Jason. I've been trying to talk to another player I met on CR when I first joined back in 2006. His name at CR is screenw (Winthrop) and he's struggling just like me at low stakes. We've been setting up weekly poker sweat sessions and emailing each other hand histories. It's benefited me alot and I think I know what my biggest leak is. I go on autopilot too much. I don't put villains on hand ranges on every street. I go on tilt and play too aggressive and never fold draws/marginal hands.
I need to learn the art of the bed/fold and learn to let go of marginal hands like tpgk vs villains who never bluff. Especially when they c/c the flop and c/r the turn. That line right there is usually always two pairs or better. I've got the hand histories to prove it too because I never believed it til now.
The fact is, you get what you put into poker. Overall, I'm still a winning player over 200k hands. That gives me a little satisfaction but I haven't reached my goal that I set out for myself back when I took my shot at $200. It's been a year and a half now and I still haven't gotten back there.
I like to talk big but will I do it? In my mind, the answer is yes. However, I have to ask myself. Am I willing to do the hard work? As of right now, I say yes. I've been playing so bad now for over a year and a half, I'm kind of numb to the swings now. I've got to stick to fundamental poker. Play tight OOP and looser IP. Play aggressive and learn to fold marginal hands when shown resistance.
The difference between my blogs and others is that they actually do what they say. It makes sense why I'm still stuck at $50 and $100 nlhe sh and they are not.
I've gotta look in the mirror and tell myself that I have to give it 100% or else I'll be doom to lose forever in poker. As of right now, I don't even care when I get there. As long as I get there and beat it for a nice clip.
If you read it all, thanks for reading. Now I got to prove to myself that I seriously want to get better and start winning. I need to start making small goals for myself that I can actually reach and build momentum toward my biggest goal of winning at $200 nlhe sh.
1st goal, is to make a list of things I can realistically do to beat $50 nlhe sh. I'll think long and hard about that. Once the list is complete, I'll make a post on my blog and look at it everyday to remind myself what I need to do to get better.
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3 comments:
Realising you are not as good as you think you are, and then working to improve, is a huge step and puts you ahead of a lot of players. Congrats on admitting your mistakes publicly & deciding to correct them. There is no time limit to this, your development is organic and will take you as long as it takes you.
Agree with Ian. This is a really good post John. Hard work and dedication will get you where you want to go. If you follow with this post and also pay attention to what you wrote in the post after this, you will succeed. Admitting you are not as good as you think you are and realizing you have much to learn is the key to improvement imo. I know I have room to improve, we all do. Now, it's time to get to work.
Good analysis and good to post it for not forgetting it.
When I realise I play badly I reduce tables to 2 or 3 in order to have time to think through the hands by street and to observe the hands I'm not involved in. Usually I start winning again soon.
However, I tend to loose focus when winning over some sessions. I open more tables and start drifting towards autopiloting.
To prevent this, I review every hand that went past the Cbet on the next day and I note all my mistakes in a log. I hope that helps to detect and correct early bad play.
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